ABOUT

Leaving high-control groups can be a profoundly disorienting experience.

You may have to rebuild your identity, establish what your own values as a person are, rebuild a social network, and life perspective from the ground up.

Navigating the "real world" outside highly controlling environments alone is challenging, but you don't need to do this alone.

A life coach with similar life experiences can help you to establish and achieve your goals as you discover your authentic self.

Establish your goals

Each person's journey while leaving a high control group is unique, and your goals should reflect your personal circumstances, needs, and aspirations. The process of recovery and rebuilding is often gradual and requires patience, support, and resilience. Here are some of the goals you may discover you need.

Re-establish your identity: Discovering or redefining who you are outside of high-control-group influence is often the first primary goal. This may involve exploring personal beliefs, values, and interests that were suppressed or discouraged within the group.
Building independence: Learning to make independent decisions and trusting your own judgement can be a significant goal, as high control groups typically dictate many aspects of a member's life.
Gaining knowledge: Educating yourself about the nature of high-control groups and understanding the psychological tactics used to manipulate members can be empowering and help in the recovery process.
Developing critical thinking: Cultivating the ability to think critically and question information is importantafter leaving an environment where questioning was often discouraged or punished.
Forming healthy relationships: Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships is vital. This includes making new friends and removing toxic relationships that prevent you from growth and achieving your goals.
Securing financial stability: You may need to gain financial independence, as some high-control groups take control of their members' finances. This can involve finding employment, learning to manage money, and understanding financial planning.
Pursuing education: You may have been discouraged from or unable to pursue formal education while in the group often set a goal to return to school or seek vocational training.
Connecting (or reconnecting) with society: Acclimating to societal norms and integrating into the broader community can be a difficult hurdle, especially if the group was isolated or held beliefs that significantly differed from mainstream society.
Learning to put yourself above others: Prioritizing your financial, social, physical, and mental health, which may have been neglected while in the group is critically important. This includes learning to prioritize yourself over your employer, friend's, clergy, or family's needs.
Finding meaning and purpose: Leaving a group that provided a comprehensive worldview, you may seek sources of meaning and purpose which could take the form of spirituality, a career, activism, arts and culture, or community service.

Qualifications

As a third-generation former member of a high-control religious group, and now a dedicated life coach, I specialize in helping individuals like you rediscover their identity, build resilience, and create a fulfilling life outside the confines of past constraints. With thirty years of personal experience and professional expertise, I offer empathetic, tailored guidance to empower you in this journey of freedom and self discovery.